My father fought all creatures who intruded on “his” domain—squirrels, neighbourhood cats, my mom. Since then, I have found myself in a similar relationship that I can’t seem to leave. My only resistance has been to show compassion to all the creatures he hates or fears—the birds, the butterflies, the mice, the dogs. It has been my miracle that when an owl flew past me, he jumped away in fear; and in the silence of its wings I had a moment to take up space again.
by one soft impulse saved from vacancy. It’s all I can think about lately—how often I have thought I simply cannot keep going, and how each time I recover the next round is only worse.
i spent the entire day feeling everything and capable of doing nothing. In the past, I have tried to make things better. there is no better.
Funny how he lies to me when it’s convenient for him, and then says “you wanted me to be honest” when i am breaking down and he does nothing to comfort or care. He watches blank faced.
I do not want to be anymore. I have never felt so tired. I do not know how to find my place.
1. The first reminder: don’t forget to get new supplies of that thing you are just about to run out of.
2. Second: remember to wake up at an appropriate time for that thing you were going to do. For example, if you are attending the founding of Vladivostok you should set your alarm for July, 1850. You may need to use that button on the back to get the correct setting.
3. Third: remember that there are metal-tipped mountains on Venus which are higher than any mountain on Earth.
4. Fourth: remember to walk that thing that needs walking, I am not quite sure what the thing is, it might be a dog or an idea or a romance, and the walking might be literal or metaphorical but anyhow: that thing is sitting at your feet and panting and you might want to give it a bit of exercise or it’ll be keeping you up all night.
5. Then too, remember that song, the one that filled up your whole head for days and you couldn’t stop little bits of it slipping out of your mouth from time to time? Just asking.
6. Sixth: have you remembered that cats’ feet have little beans on the bottom so far today? If not, this is your official reminder to remember this.
7. Seventh: don’t forget to talk to that person you were going to talk to, they would probably be happy to hear from you.
8. Also, eighth, just to remind you, you have a tongue in your mouth and if you think about it you can just sort of feel it sitting there.
9. Ninth: this is a reminder that one day you will look at the unrolling horizon and feel a sudden cloud lifting, a cloud you were never even quite sure was there, and behind it unexpected joy.
10. And finally: remember that most things, really, turn out OK, and most people are at least alright and at best amazing, and hidden within each awesome thing there are usually at least six more curled up like woodlice.
(via adoomkitten)
I remember when I first got Harry Potter and the deathly hallows I picked the book up and it accidentally flicked to the last few pages and I quickly shut it because I didn’t want to spoil it for myself but I saw “Ginny kissed Albus” and I remember thinking “fucking plot twist”.
(via hobrerek)
